I'm... I'm okay! Yeah. Had some existential crisis going on there, and... You know, normally I'd say "HEY GUYS I TOTALLY OVERCAME THIS", but, you know. Doesn't really work this way. I need to spend some days both relaxing, and working hard, and being ever vigilant not to fall back into old patterns... I must get my feelings to accept that work is a wonderful thing that I mustn't be scared of, and in fact, something I should enjoy.

On that note, there is something I must apologize for.

I always claimed that I have big dreams, that I wanted to become a great artist, and that I would work hard for it.
Evidently, that was not true.

Maybe I had these dreams, and maybe I really believed in them, but in time... the reason I continued drawing, and giving a token effort to improve, was because I wanted people to like me. I wanted people to like me because I wanted to be happy. I have self-esteem issues. When I first got online, I was convinced that nobody could ever like me. Then I found people who would appreciate me for who I am. And I found that drawing is something that I can do well enough that people will praise me for it.

I disappointed many who perhaps believed in my own dreams more than I did myself.

What will happen now?

Well... I will have to think about this for some time. About what I am, how I got there, and what I want from the future. Truly want.
But I'm optimistic.

Work, you know. It's pretty rad.